Your relationship with money is so fundamental to acquiring wealth. It is equally important to acquire wealth the right way and enjoy your wealth.
So often there is a strong focus on making more money that turns out to be somewhat detrimental to one’s mental health and physical relationships.
We all know of at least one person who has prioritised money over relationships and family.
What is the point of acquiring so much money without having someone to share it with?
Today, we will be talking about such an important fundamental topic that will help us truly think about what money means to us, why it means what it means to us and techniques to improve our relationships with money.
I hope by the time you are done reading this post you are able to clearly identify if you have a healthy relationship with money and even more important that you are empowered with the tools to improve your relationship with money and start to enjoy money for what it truly is.
Set Money Goals. Be Intentional with your money
For this to happen in this post, we will be covering
- The fundamentals of a relationship
- What is money and why is it so important
- What a good and bad relationship with money looks like
- How the wealthy view money
- 8 steps to transforming your relationship with money
Let’s dive into it, shall we?
What Is A Relationship?
A relationship is how two or more people or things are connected. It is how two or more people or things feel and behave towards each other.
What Is Money?
The dictionary meaning of money is that it is a medium of exchange. It is a thing that allows you and me to obtain what we need to live.
If only it was that simple, we wouldn’t be talking about relationships with money…
When Then Does A Relationship With Money Mean?
A relationship with money is the way you and I think, feel, and behave towards money.
It is how you feel and act when money is involved. It is the love of money. It is the struggle with money. It is the greed, the frustration, the fair, and the conflict that money creates.
Our belief about money starts at a very young age and our relationship with money is formed in childhood not when we start having money.
This begs the question how does a child who doesn’t earn money form that relationship?
For a start, you don’t have to have money to form a relationship with money. A relationship with money can be formed by observing how people deal with money, how your parents treated money or desperately looked for it. How you were rewarded for good behaviour and so on.
As you grow, you start to hear people say
- “Money will make you happy”
- “No one respects people without money”
- “Money can buy happiness”
- “Your self-worth equals your net worth”
- “Rich people are greedy”
- “It’s very hard to make money”
- “Without money, you are nothing”
All of this implants on your mind and forms a stronger belief on what money is, can or cannot do.
What Does A Healthy Relationship With Money Look Like?
What then is the difference between a good and bad relationship with money?
The feelings and behaviour that money creates is key to understanding if you have a good or bad relationship with money.
A good relationship with money drives the right financial behaviour and a bad relationship with money does the exact opposite to your detriment.
A healthy relationship views money the right way.
Instead of ‘money is hard’ you say and think ‘money is easy’
Instead of ‘I won’t have money because of xyz’ you say ‘I can make a lot of money’
Instead of ‘I have to have a lot of money’ you say ‘I need money to spend on the things I value and enjoy”
Instead of saying “No one will love me without money” you say, “I will build a healthy relationship and work with my partner to make more money” After all two heads are better than one.
A healthy relationship thinks of money as natural, neutral, and fun. An unhealthy relationship does the exact opposite, it turns making money into a difficult chore and enjoying money into an uphill battle.
How The Wealthy View Money?
The way the wealthy view money is different from everyone else. Notice I said the wealthy, not millionaires – wealth last longer than millions. Many millionaires have a bad relationship with money so even if you are ‘rich’ it is still worth reviewing your relationship with money in detail.
The wealthy truly view money as a means to an end. This is why while the masses focus on hoarding their money, the wealthy are happy to let that money be put to good use to earn more money.
The masses believe money is directly connected to time, so they trade time for money. The wealthy trade value for money. They believe that by genuinely solving a problem and adding value they can create limitless money that is not constrained by time.
The wealthy can look at money objectively and divulge of emotions, especially the negative emotions. They think of money within reason rather than by emotions. They let logic guide their financial decisions and only let emotion drive them to stick to the decisions.
The wealthy belief been rich is a right rather than a privilege or a game of luck. This automatically puts them at the front foot. With belief, you are over 50% there already.
You can read more about this in my post on why the rich get richer and the poor poorer.
How To Transform Your Relationship With Money
If you think of money as the wealthy do, then congratulations you are well on your way to amassing much wealth.
If you, don’t I encourage you to follow the 8 steps below and start transforming your relationship with money today.
8 Steps to Transform Your Relationship With Money
1. Identify What Money Means To You. Why Is It Important?
To understand why money is important you need to first identify what money means to you.
What is money really? Is money a means to an end? A solution? Your security? A scarce commodity?
Many factors influence what money means to you. Did you grow up in a rich or poor home? Did you have stingy parents, partners or relatives? Are you first-generation wealth? All these things play a role in determining how you view money and what it stands for?
2. Identify Your Current Relatonship With Money
It is important to dive really deep and understand what your current relationship with money is. Do you love money? Are you scared of money? Does the thought of having lots of money scare you or does it make you excited? Do you feel like you will soon lose the money you have? Do you hoard money? Are you scared of spending money? Do you struggle to spend money? Do you struggle to give money?
To understand your current relationship with money, consider your values and how they influence your relationship with money? For example, if you are a giver, you are more likely to not struggle with spending money on others besides yourself.
3. Identify Why You Feel The Need To Transform Your Relationship With Money
Now that you have evaluated your current relationship with money, it is time to identify your ‘why’. Why do you need to transform your relationship with money? Is it affecting your peace, your joy, your family? Is it negatively impacting your relationship? Is it detrimental to your mental health?
Do you need to transform your relationship with money so you can sleep better at night? So you can spend a little bit more on yourself? So, you can show that you love yourself?
Without a reason, it’s difficult to transform your relationship. So go ahead and find out your ‘why’. Write it down and remember to use it as your driving force.
4. Define What New Relationship You Want To Replace The Unhealthy Relationship With Money With
By identifying your ‘why’ you know what is wrong. Now you need to clearly define, articulate, and write down what your ideal relationship with money should be.
Do you want your relationship with money to be easy rather than hard? Define it, write it down so you can take the next step.
5. Prioritise Which Unhealthy Area You Are Going To Tackle First
I have not always had a healthy relationship with money. In fact, when I started transforming my relationship with money, I had to decide which areas to tackle first as I had a few skeletons in my closet.
Goals are easier to achieve if prioritised and broken down into smaller task. Prioritise what you need to do first. Create a roadmap for transforming your relationship with money.
6. Take Action
You need to clearly define what actions you will be taking over the next couple of weeks and months to help you clearly confirm that you are taking steps to improve your relationship with money. Set milestones.
These actions and milestones will not only help you know that your relationship with money is changing but they will serve as motivational boosters and encourage you to start taking more actions in the right direction.
If you struggle to spend money on yourself, do you need to set a task of buying yourself a cup of coffee or gift every month? If you struggle to let go of money, do you need to set a goal of taking a friend or partner to the movies or even just giving them money?
If you struggle to save, do you need to automatically transfer money into your investment accounts immediately the money comes in?
7. Empower Yourself With An Optimal Enivroment
Like with many things in life, when taking action you need to ensure your environment is filled with positive re-enforcement as they are optimal for change.
Do you need to write your ‘why’ on the wall? Go ahead and do it.
Do you need to make positive confessions about your relationship with money? Go ahead and speak it aloud.
Do you need to change what you watch and read? Go ahead and do it.
Supercharge your environment for success.
8. Reward Yourself For Every Success
Change is not easy. Transformation is very difficult. It is as much about the journey as it is about the destination.
Therefore, the final step you need to take as you journey to a better you who has a better relationship with money is to enjoy the journey and reward yourself for each milestone you achieve.
Final Takeaway
It took me a while to transform my relationship with money and I honestly believe I am a work in progress as I acquire more money and get better at managing it.
Some people need therapy to transform their relationship with money. Others need to read books and post like this.
Irrespective of what you need to do begin the journey by resolving strongly in your heart your ‘why’ so it can be the motivating force to you achieving greater things.
Be Intentional with your money.
*This is not financial advice. Do not consider this blog to be a substitute for obtaining advice from a qualified investment advisor. The ideas and strategies should never be used without first assessing your own personal and financial situation, or without consulting a financial professional *
